via Daily Prompt: Homage
As days pass and the years go by I seem to see many things in a different light. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I have survived near death. Perhaps it is just a normal part of aging. Either way it is something that needs to be respected in our American culture (but seems to not be). With that said I wish to pay homage to the lessons my God has shown me. I hope that you glean something from this blog. It is why I write.
Lesson 1 – People who you think are your friends will use you for the sake of gossip. There I said it. I hated to tell you that one, but it is true. How do I know? I used to talk to someone almost every day. Our conversations could go on for an hour or more. But, I came to realize that as she spoke to me she slandered, or cut down, the people in her life that she called her friends. After years of hearing this I thought to myself, “I wonder if she does the same thing with what I tell her about my life?” If she were in fact talking to me to get information to tell them! I began cutting back on telling her things and grew more and more sure of the fact that she was. I hated that I had fallen for that. I was a part of a gossip roundup – gathering and spreading the herds of data – manure and all. Since that realization I have decided to keep my mouth shut more than I used to. I have given up gossiping and use words to edify more than I did back then. People will use you. You have to set boundaries. If you don’t you will have repercussions.
Lesson 2 – Private matters should be discussed with someone who is a counselor or trained to help you sort it all out. This is a follow up to number one. Confide in those who must keep your private matters private. I have gone to a counselor and not am ashamed to admit it. I know that they have taken an oath and will guide you. Friends and family on the other hand might think they know what is best and want to help but they are not always right. I lean on God and pray more than anything now to get my answers.
Lesson 3- Set boundaries with those who need it – I am not real good at this yet, but I am trying. I have people in my life who seem to think that they can tell me what to think even though what they think it completely opposite of who I am. I cannot do as they wish nor will I. To me, if I do as they tell me to do they become a sort of false God. Especially when they are telling me to do things that are not in agreement with the Bible. I set boundaries and will listen to the one true God, not anyone who is a wolf is sheep’s clothing.
Lesson 4- When You Change People Will Not See it and Think You Are Still the Old You – Change takes time. I have changed but most still see me as the old me. I let her go a while ago. I am a new me dedicated to God. It is okay that people do not see it. That is not what matters. What matters is that God sees the new me.
Lesson 5- People will judge you even though they have no right to – It is a natural thing – to judge others for whatever reason. Maybe your eyes are a different color or you are in a wheelchair. Maybe it is something not physical but spiritual as you are of a varied faith. The reason is not important. It is the action that is taking place. Judge not lest ye be judged. Speak words of love, not judgement. If you are offended by someone pray for them. But more than anything, if someone judges you do not let it bother you. By doing so you give them control over your feelings. Focus on what God knows to be true. That is the only thing that is important.
I used to give homage to so many things. Those were the things that I spent an enormous amount of time on. Now, I choose to give homage to God and what he asks me to do. Homage to God as his disciple is not always an easy path to choose. But I choose it.
via Daily Prompt: Nervous
Nervous, so nervous. I had just overheard the doctor telling my family that I should be getting better by now. I had been on an IV diet for a week with no food or water and yet the pain remained. I began to think about so many things and my nerves were about shot. I could not get out of bed to take care of things that I felt I needed to do. I did not even have a cell phone to call those I loved to talk to them. All I could think of was how I wanted to be there to one day meet my sons’ loved ones and my possible grandchildren. I wanted to live!
Then an odd thing happened. I was asleep and soon realized that I was floating above my body. I could actually see my form laying on the bed below me. Next, I realized that I had no pain! There was no pain at all! I began trying different things. I thought maybe I could fly out of the room and down the hall to see other things. I had been in that room for a long time. I tried but in that moment I went elsewhere. I was back in the house I lived in as a small child. I could smell what was cooking in the kitchen, I could hear my mother’s voice and see my brother next to me watching the television. It was as if I had time traveled back in time to that location and then was whisked to another place and time with my brother. Each new place was experienced by all of my senses. Yet, I had no pain and I did not feel ill at all. Those episodes lasted for a while until I was taken to a place where there was a valley with a lake. There were large hills behind it. Here I was met by something like a receiving line of people who had passed away. They were mostly people from my husband’s side of the family. One had on overalls and had a tool in his hand. He had loved to work on cars in his lifetime. Another one had a cow near him. He had been a farmer and had one cow he kept as a pet until it died of old age. I looked at them and they seemed to see me but we never approached one another.
It was then that I moved into the next part of the experience. I felt a love so pure that I cannot even tell you how it felt. The only thing ever close to it in this life was when I held my newborn sons and looked into their eyes for the first time ever. That pure love is one I will never forget. This was followed by a brief conversation about if I wanted to stay. I relayed to the one I was speaking with that I wanted to stay with my family. I didn’t feel it was my time yet. My husband had just lost his father and now I was so ill and possibly dying myself. How would he deal with all of that? Finally, I felt as I was going back.
In a flash I was back in my room hovering over my body. Then, I fell back into the form on my bed and the pain, the anguish of my illness returned. I lay there trying to figure out what had just transpired as a nurse walked into the room.
Here I am now years later and I look back on that time in my life from time to time. I want you to know that I have seen that valley since then. I was at the funeral of my husband’s uncle in Southern Ohio and when we pulled into the cemetery I looked to the right and saw the hills and the valley. I about leaped out of the car right then and there. I listened to the prayers but all the while I was reading the names on the tombstones in the area. After the ceremony I talked to my spouse and he took me around the cemetery and walked with me to view the valley. This cemetery had so many from his heritage buried there. I had never seen that valley before that day, but it is forever engraved in my mind’s eye.
I am no longer nervous about dying. I know now that I will be in a place filled with a love so pure that I look forward to it. I want to be there one day with my family and loved ones. I want to see that valley and run into the arms of the grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, and best friends and most of all our children lost in this life. Back then, I was so nervous about dying. But now I am so blessed as those nerves have been washed away and I am calm. Calm and blessed, what more could I ask for?
HUGZ2all God bless!