Infatuated with Life

via Daily Prompt: Enamored

 

Enamored, a word not often used in day to day verbiage.  Defined it means to be filled with a feeling of love, to be in love with, smitten by, or merely having a liking for something is to be enamored with something.

As a young woman I would have stated that I was infatuated with the love of my life, my spouse, and although that remains true I would not be here to love the man of my dreams without life. Life, a word with only four letters and such a large meaning.  To have life, to breathe, to sustain a way of living is not a given. It is a day to day gifting.

Only yesterday a dear friend underwent an eight hour surgery. She is resting now and healing from the endeavor and she is alive. Alive to be with her family yet another day. Breathing and taking in air, enjoying a breakfast that only a hospital can make. 🙂 She has been given the opportunity as have all of us to reach out and touch people in a new way. As one who is fighting back at breast cancer she is a stronghold of the culture within we live. So many have fought the battle against cancer, so many have won the battle against death with accidents, illnesses, and on and on the list could go.  I have survived a few things myself but today I choose to focus on the fact that I live for a purpose, a reason.

What is that reason? I live to serve. I live to serve God and his church. I live to serve those who long to know more about what it is like to live with a TBI.  I live to love my friends and family.  I am infatuated with life.

This morning as I rose from slumber I came right to my PC to go onto Facebook. I knew that a post would have been made concerning the well being of my dear friend. A photo of she and her daughter greeted me as I slid down the page of entries. In that moment I knew she was okay. Joy entered my heart as I knew I would be able to talk to her again soon. We would be able to come together and make handmade cards for those we love and speak of our lives. We would form more memories and explore our lives. I am thankful for that opportunity.

In a few hours I will venture out to celebrate a birthday with someone who was in the rollover accident with me. We will celebrate another year of life. I will look at her and recall those moments wherein we were not sure we would make it. She will look at me and do the same. Then we will embrace and know that we are blessed to be here. To celebrate yet another year, to be there with those we love, and to serve.  To live, to celebrate life and to be enamored by all of its possibilities.

 

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Homage to God and Nobody Else

via Daily Prompt: Homage

 

As days pass and the years go by I seem to see many things in a different light. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I have survived near death. Perhaps it is just a normal part of aging.  Either way it is something that needs to be respected in our American culture (but seems to not be). With that said I wish to pay homage to the lessons my God has shown me. I hope that you glean something from this blog. It is why I write.

Lesson 1 – People who you think are your friends will use you for the sake of gossip. There I said it. I hated to tell you that one, but it is true. How do I know? I used to talk to someone almost every day. Our conversations could go on for an hour or more. But, I came to realize that as she spoke to me she slandered, or cut down, the people in her life that she called her friends. After years of hearing this I thought to myself, “I wonder if she does the same thing with what I tell her about my life?” If she were in fact talking to me to get information to tell them!  I began cutting back on telling her things and grew more and more sure of the fact that she was. I hated that I had fallen for that. I was a part of a gossip roundup – gathering and spreading the herds of data – manure and all. Since that realization I have decided to keep my mouth shut more than I used to. I have given up gossiping and use words to edify more than I did back then. People will use you. You have to set boundaries. If you don’t you will have repercussions.

Lesson 2 –  Private matters should be discussed with someone who is a counselor or trained to help you sort it all out. This is a follow up to number one. Confide in those who must keep your private matters private. I have gone to a counselor and not am ashamed to admit it. I know that they have taken an oath and will guide you. Friends and family on the other hand might think they know what is best and want to help but they are not always right. I lean on God and pray more than anything now to get my answers.

Lesson 3- Set boundaries with those who need it – I am not real good at this yet, but I am trying. I have people in my life who seem to think that they can tell me what to think even though what they think it completely opposite of who I am. I cannot do as they wish nor will I. To me, if I do as they tell me to do they become a sort of false God. Especially when they are telling me to do things that are not in agreement with the Bible.  I set boundaries and will listen to the one true God, not anyone who is a wolf is sheep’s clothing.

Lesson 4- When You Change People Will Not See it and Think You Are Still the Old You – Change takes timeI have changed but most still see me as the old me. I let her go a while ago. I am a new me dedicated to God. It is okay that people do not see it. That is not what matters. What matters is that God sees the new me.

Lesson 5- People will judge you even though they have no right to – It is a natural thing – to judge others for whatever reason. Maybe your eyes are a different color or you are in a wheelchair. Maybe it is something not physical but spiritual as you are of a varied faith. The reason is not important. It is the action that is taking place. Judge not lest ye be judged. Speak words of love, not judgement. If you are offended by someone pray for them. But more than anything, if someone judges you do not let it bother you. By doing so you give them control over your feelings. Focus on what God knows to be true. That is the only thing that is important.

 

I used to give homage to so many things. Those were the things that I spent an enormous amount of time on. Now, I choose to give homage to God and what he asks me to do. Homage to God as his disciple is not always an easy path to choose. But I choose it.

 

 

Immerse Yourself

via Daily Prompt: Immerse

Immersion has more than one definition. One definition is to involve oneself deeply in a particular activity or interest.  Another is to dip or submerge in a liquid. Odd how in faith we may have done both.

Baptism is an example of immersion in some faiths.  I have been lucky enough to have been submerged by a man of God at the River Jordan as others witnessed my cleansing. That was something that took but a few minutes yet meant so much to my walk of faith. But, I dare say, that was the easy part of immersion in my walk with faith. The other definition, the one that involves going deeply into an interest is much harder.

Immersion, that daily walk with my faith is something I do okay at some days and not so well on other days. The ability to walk with Christ daily seems to be a challenge as there are other things that seem to get in the way. Our modern world offers up so many things that entertain us and keep us busy. Television and radio are two of them. Having heard sermon after sermon on how we spend more time with both of these things than with God I began to realize that I had what some may call false Gods in my life. So, I began to change how I viewed media. I began to seek ways to shift from the cultural influences on both to the spiritual ones. I now watch and listen to Christian channels more than I ever had. I have even discovered a Jewish channel and have found programs out of Israel that show places I had visited while there as well as new locations. I am now able to immerse myself in things of faith daily. It is not a perfect answer but it is a start.

Immersing myself into a prayerful life is another area wherein I have found small ways to make a difference in my daily walk. I now pray while in the car, while I sew, or when I walk out to get the mail. I have found that my mind is becoming better at flipping into prayer in my mind than it had before. Immersing myself in prayer helps me to obtain the goal of praying unceasingly. I may never master this, but I am making an effort and am seeing progress. I know God sees it as well.

Immersion has more than one definition and if you attempt to follow it faithfully it has more than one challenge in your life. Look for the little things that you can change in order to walk with him more closely. Immerse yourself in his word and listen when he speaks to you. He will help you. HUGZ. God bless.

immerse

Hidden in the Pattern

via Daily Prompt: Pattern

Years ago pictures like the one above were quite popular. Most folks could look at the image, the pattern, and a new picture would emerge from amongst the lines. At that moment you would hear the viewer announce to the world what they saw. But, I never could figure those things out. I would stare, follow tips of those who could master the task, and do all I could think of but I could never see anything more than the pattern in front of my face. I never could see the essence of the picture, its soul.  But for all who could see the essence of the picture they always announced the same found item. It was never argued, never debated, there was one answer. Each pattern held one hidden image. Some could see it. Some could not.

There are other things like those patterns on our world. We look at them and one can see the soul of the meaning hidden in the image or the words but others cannot. But the difference is that with most other things we do not ever agree on what is hidden in the pattern if we can see it. Take for instance, this BLOG. Not one person will totally agree with another person who reads this why I wrote it or what the essence of the article is. This is because we have varied backgrounds that help us filter things we find in our lives. It is not as simple as those magic pictures.

Take a look at this image. What do you see? Is there anything hidden that pops out at you? Are there things that remind you of patterns in the world or in your life?

 

hobo

Looking at people can be dissected in the same way as looking at those magic images. When we look at a person some people see the brilliance in them pop out like it is magic before their eyes. Others see the good, or the bad, or judge them by how they look or dress. What did you surmise about this young person from the times of the depression? How would you react to them if you saw someone like them on the streets of today? Would you see the same as everyone else who saw the same image?

My challenge to you today is to see in all you experience the magic. Look for the good in all that God has created. Find the good in people you meet. It is there. I pray that the good in all may pop out at you and may you see all through the eyes of God. Patterns in our world and in our lives can shift. Shift your daily patterns toward seeing magic in all.

God bless. HUGZ

 

 

Observations of Nuances of Faith

via Daily Prompt: Nuance

 

Have you ever watched those of faith as they go about their day to day living? How do they act in relation to others? How do they act at church?  Or maybe when in the church working or volunteering, how do they act then? In our minds we may think that they all act the same. But, do they?

I am a people watcher. I learn a lot about people in that way. I love to watch how they react to certain circumstances and to certain people. Take for example a Christian meeting someone who uses the Lords name in vain. Some of them simply go on and attempt to ignore what just occurred. Others join in with the same type of talk and do not seem to be aware. Then there are those who bless the person privately and ask God to be with them and to guide them to not do so.  Each one goes to church on Sunday. Each one professes faith to their God, but their reactions differ.

Judgement of others is another big area. I love to watch people as they serve those in need.  Most are caring and loving. They are tender to those in need and lift them up and use words that edify. Yet, I have also met those who scorn them behind their backs and accuse them of things that are not always true. They judge them.  All people need our love and our understanding. All are created in the image of God just as we are.

I am not writing this as to condemn people of faith. I am writing this as a tool for you to think about your actions. How do you act when out and about the world? How do you act while at work? How do you react to someone who is different than you are?  How about how you treat those in need? We are all human. We are all sinners. Yet, we can look at our actions and how they must seem to those about us.

Subtle nuances of our actions, our words, our ways are seen by all. Are you a dollar a week, an hour a week Christian or do you act like what you believe in at all times? During this season of Lent ask God to reveal to you the areas of need in your life. I know he has revealed many to me. May God be with you on this journey we call life. I wish you many good things. HUGZ  God bless you.

 

 

 

 

 

So Nervous about Dying

via Daily Prompt: Nervous

Nervous, so nervous. I had just overheard the doctor telling my family that I should be getting better by now. I had been on an IV diet for a week with no food or water and yet the pain remained. I began to think about so many things and my nerves were about shot. I could not get out of bed to take care of things that I felt I needed to do. I did not even have a cell phone to call those I loved to talk to them. All I could think of was how I wanted to be there to one day meet my sons’ loved ones and my possible grandchildren.  I wanted to live!

Then an odd thing happened. I was asleep and soon realized that I was floating above my body. I could actually see my form laying on the bed below me. Next,  I realized that I had no pain! There was no pain at all!   I began trying different things. I thought maybe I could fly  out of the room and down the hall to see other things.  I had been in that room for a long time. I tried but in that moment I went elsewhere.  I was back in the house I lived in as a small child. I could smell what was cooking in the kitchen, I could hear my mother’s voice and see my brother next to me watching the television. It was as if I had time traveled back in time to that location and then was whisked to another place and time with my brother. Each new place was experienced by all of my senses. Yet, I had no pain and I did not feel ill at all.  Those episodes lasted for a while until I was taken to a place where there was a valley with a lake. There were large hills behind it. Here I was met by something like a receiving line of people who had passed away. They were mostly people from my husband’s side of the family. One had on overalls and had a tool in his hand. He had loved to work on cars in his lifetime. Another one had a cow near him. He had been a farmer and had one cow he kept as a pet until it died of old age. I looked at them and they seemed to see me but we never approached one another.

It was then that I moved into the next part of the experience. I felt a love so pure that I cannot even tell you how it felt. The only thing ever close to it in this life was when I held my newborn sons and looked into their eyes for the first time ever. That pure love is one I will never forget. This was followed by a brief conversation about if I wanted to stay. I relayed to the one I was speaking with that I wanted to stay with my family. I didn’t feel it was my time yet. My husband had just lost his father and now I was so ill and possibly dying myself. How would he deal with all of that?  Finally, I felt as I was going back.

In a flash I was back in my room hovering over my body. Then, I fell back into the form on my bed and the pain, the anguish of my illness returned. I lay there trying to figure out what had just transpired as a nurse walked into the room.

Here I am now years later and I look back on that time in my life from time to time. I want you to know that I have seen that valley since then. I was at the funeral of my husband’s uncle in Southern Ohio and when we pulled into the cemetery I looked to the right and saw the hills and the valley. I about leaped out of the car right then and there. I listened to the prayers but all the while I was reading the names on the tombstones in the area. After the ceremony I talked to my spouse and he took me around the cemetery and walked with me to view the valley. This cemetery had so many from his heritage buried there. I had never seen that valley before that day, but it is forever engraved in my mind’s eye.

I am no longer nervous about dying. I know now that I will be in a place filled with a love so pure that I look forward to it. I want to be there one day with my family and loved ones. I want to see that valley and run into the arms of the grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, and best friends and most of all our children lost in this life. Back then, I was so nervous about dying. But now I am so blessed as those nerves have been washed away and I am calm. Calm and blessed, what more could I ask for?

 

HUGZ2all  God bless!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Road Taken

Photo prompt: The Road Taken

Prior to the days of the technological tools that we now depend upon, cell phones and GPS systems,  I had decided to sing at a Christian event far from home.  I went even though it was in the middle of farm country away from the main roads and highways. Finding my way there in the daylight was even more challenging than I thought it might be as there were closed roads along the way that I had to reroute for. Even then I wondered how I would get out of there that night in the dark. Upon arriving at the venue I checked in and gave them my cassettes to back me up when I praised the Lord with my voice. I had gotten there late and thus was placed in the lineup toward the end of the evening. I admit that I was quite nervous about getting back home at  a decent hour. I wanted to be there when the kids got up in the morning and not upset my spouse by his not knowing where I was.  Praising God from the crowd I lost myself in the glory of his presence and soon got up to sing on the stage. It felt good to lead the gathered in song. For a time my concern of driving home and to not worry my family was lost in the moment. Praising God with song among those with same intent was inspiring. But, as in all times of worship the sermons ended and the songs drew to a close. It was time to go home. As I walked to the car I noticed the stillness of the night. There was not much moonlight to light my way and the lack of street lights did not help. I had my Google map information with me but it seemed to be of not much help as seeing the road signs was nearly impossible and the reroutes had been plentiful.  I began wondering why I had not just gone home in the light of day and not even gone to perform. But, I knew why. I wanted to praise with God’s people. Driving on into the night I became disoriented and the roads were confusing. I grew tired and had no place to stop for directions. I pulled over to the side of the road and took out my paper map of the state. I had no idea where to look on it. I began to cry as it grew late and by now I was tired and needed sleep. With no other recourse I bowed my head and began to pray. I asked God to help me get home safely. Just then a dark colored car pulled by me. It was the first car I had seen in a while so I pulled out and began to follow it. I couldn’t see anything but the fact that there were two people in that car. I watched as we approached the next intersection. It appeared that the one in the passenger seat seemed to be motioning for me to turn to the right. I blinked and looked again. Again I saw the arm motions to go right. I questioned what I was seeing but trusted that this was the answer to my prayer. I turned right and drove on for quite some time before coming to a main road leading to a highway. It was here that I knew what to do with the aid of my Ohio map. I turned onto the highway and began to weep. In that moment of being lost God had reached out to ME. He had seen that I was one of his lost sheep and he found me and helped me to get back home. I will never forget that night. Not because I got to sing so much but more so for the lesson that I learned. Faith is so much more than prayer and praising. It is knowing that God is always with us. He knows our every move, our every thought. I look back on that day and know that God is always with me. I just need to have that faith, the size of a mustard seed. to realize it. Trust that he is with you. Choose the path toward him. He is there waiting for you with open arms. You are loved. HUGZ